2009/10 Diaries

2009/10 Diaries
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Stories from following Town and Crown

Ukraine Away by Blacky

Started Monday with the 7pm train from Preston picking Stingray up at Warrington and Fake Nez at Luton
before making our way to Luton Airport hotel we're we drank the night away with Spiv and Scouse.
5am wake up and to the airport for breakfast while one certain member was busy helping himself to
anything not securely fixed to the shelf. Fly into Bucharest and we get a taxi to the train station, only just
mind as the taxi runs out of juice. Spiv and Scouse head for coach tickets and we get on the important task
of drinking. 7pm, we get our stash for the next 10 hour coach journey over the seemingly relentless pot
holes twinned with no shitter on board, but boys will be boys and we entertained ourselves. Scouse giving
moonies followed by foul smells, Stingray sharing a bed with the bus driver, pissing in bottles and lets not
forget the cheesy popcorn getting everywhere. Let’s be honest about this, we wasn’t the most popular
people on the coach, as no one dared near the “Republic of PrestonAway”. Eventually arrive Chisinau,
Moldova for 4am and go in search of a hotel, a few false starts but before long we find the Hotel Chisinau
and after 10 hours we are all hot, sweaty, tired, smelly and Blackys desperate for a shit, of which the
recpetionist is only to happy to watch him squirm touching cloth before eventually been released for a on
"tour turd".
We rose and shone and met up at midday and took a gentle stroll around Chisinau, few beers and some
local nosebag. The old Soviet markets are top notch, anything is obtainable, lets just says Customs and
Excise (cunts) would have been very interested. Drop the loot off and get ready for the night before a heavy
night commences starting with beers, some real old Moldovan food in the middle finishing in a Greek
restaurant with several bottles of wine before calling it a night at 3am.
On the Thursday we was to get a minibus to Odessa via the taboo territory of Transdniestria, offically
Moldovan but in the laps of Russia, takes us an hour to get in and the obligatory beers and food in any
country fill them voids before we get on our way and roll up at a rather unimpressed Ukrainian border post.

Scouse was keeping us entertained with his antics as per usual, giving locals abuse while Igor was hot on
the formalities, anyway as we drew up to the border box, the meat head behind the counter didn’t look all
too impressed, and it didn’t help as we mocked him and laughed, however in the way of the world, as soon
as he found we was here for football related duties his stance changed and he was only too happy to let us
in, as they overlooked our customs haul of fags and booze. We was happily on our way with Spiv sleeping
yet again to Odessa.
Arrive in the old war town of Odessa, Spiv organises the ticket for the night train and he is soon reaping his
rewards in a bar after we fuck seeing the Black Sea off. Scouse ends up sniffing one of the best boozers on
the tour out, a right quiet local set back and 10 odd beers, half a bottle of vodka, coke and crisps barely
touches over 12 quid, fuck your IRA bars, that’s my kind of supping establishment. On the way to the train
we catch a shop and cause chaos as we order in supplies for the trip, a lasting memory of some lady
walking in, jaw dropping and walking back out. Fuck off this shops now English territory.
Get on the sleeper train and it’s not long before a non too regular PrestonAway member is missing, he’s
only been caught short and arrested for pissing in the train corridor, anyway after a while to stew over his
antics he is bailed out by the way of a bribe. The rest of the night goes quietly before some cunt drops his
guts in the carriage which leaves Z’s and Stingray actually physically choking as they struggle with the
locked door. Arriving Dnepropetrovsk it’s a bit of an arse ache finding our digs for the next few nights but
after a hearty effort we are in!
Off in to Dnipro and again PrestonAway is pissing all over Englandfans+ as we get offered a ticket in the
Ukraine end at £60, not bad but the Jewboy who has it says to ring him later. By some mysterious force we
seem to be led into a bar and drinking commences in the main square. The night rolls in as do the clouds,
rain, thunder and the atmosphere. It starts at TGI Fridays were we end up for some scran, but there’s a mob
of 20 Ukranian outside, little did they know we was on a 3 course meal and that they couldn’t serve for shit
in there, so bored off they toddled. We are out safe and sound, anyway too push the boundries just to test
fate we head off down a few side streets to find a bar, of which we do as well as a handy group of around 60
Ukraine’s, a bit more than we bargained for. We sup up and decide to make a move but as we do so does a
blacked out car which appears to be following us, had the team hotel not been a 2 minute quick walk you’d
probably be reading my funeral arrangements now. We escape by the skin of our teeth and sup the night
away in a more kosher bar across from the apartment.
Saturday comes and it was jeans only to cover our tatt’s after the previous nights moody episodes and we
need to book our escape so down to the station and we've seriously fucked up, everythings booked apart
from the 12am train that night, we’d already booked our apartment but it’s our only exit so it’s got to be
booked - NO QUESTIONS. To the square but the locals are wanting photo’s and the queue is getting bigger
so we head out of the centre towards the ground for a few quiet ones. The game is upon us and one of the
lads is still down a ticket, so the plan is to blag it in by “backpassing” the ticket, but by luck some English
fella is selling face value briefs for the England end, needless to say we rip his hand off. Succesfully we are
all in the England end. Quite a entertaining game, especially the spectacular at the beginning with 10 flares
thrown on to the pitch 10 seconds in and the tarts giving it the biggy at the end. Some great chanst too, “You’
re shit, but you’re birds are fit” and the even rummer “Small town in Russia”, Ouch.
Game over, no time to fuck about, back to apartment, pick up bags and straight to the train station heading
for Kiev. Everyones a winner, Spiv haa a bird who loves playing the flirt and getting her tits out in the cabin,
Scouse has copped a birds number and address and me, Stingray and Z’s end up sharing 4 bottles of
Cognac with 4 Ukranians till every last drop has gone and we retire to bed at 4am. We arrive Kiev and it’s
fucking grim, pissing down blowing a gale and feeling a bit rough and International relations are no futher
improved when I decide to wash my feet with a baby wipe in public, we find ourself a cheap but no so
cheerful (This is the Soviet Union remember) hotel. Not long before pleasantries are shared in a bar and the
beer prices are a deep fucking shock I tell you, when the norm has been 60p and then it’s £2 its an outrage I
tell you. Bit of a mooch in the Kiev bitter cold and we find a beerkellar and all was going well until some
great lumix ended up trashing the fucking gaff to loud crashes and bangs with out subsequently knowing
what was going on, too late before the fat cunt could be caught he’d fucking left leaving a trail of
destructions in the tracks of his size 13's. Back to the hotel we rent the whole sauna for an hour with a bit of
a kip, just enough to freshen up for the night as we hit the Arena bar, were just it seems every other English
fan is, it’s rammed with us . . . and brass. There’s only 2 troops left, me and the Spiv before Scouse decides
to join us. Z’s and Stingray enjoyed a 15 hour sleep and was no where to be seen till the next morning. Later
Angus, a North Ender living in Norway, joins us as we hammer our way through 1.5 litre jars of beer. A bit of
an incident breaks out with Leeds fan who aren’t happy about one member of PrestonAway of talking to a
bird who they believed had divine right too, A “you snooze you lose” jibe didn’t go down too well before
they are escorted from the establishment. We bid farewell to Angus and in the haze of it all get ourselves
involved in a bit of a titty bonanza as we get on the hospitality trail. Eventually roll into the hotel at 5am were
a few beers are swallowed before hitting the bed.
The next morning is a bit of a rush, get to the airport before taking the flight back to London and connecting
back upto Blighty to be back in my own bed with Bacon Butties and a proper cuppa for 10.30pm

Hibs Away by Blacky

It started Friday night as everyone bottled it leaving just me in the car and with Virgin still only at £0 6 hours
before the train north of the border, I snapped there fucking hand off . . .
Trains was packed with nobbers and more alighted the further North we went, i was still half cut and so a
bottle of Bucks Fizz was just the order. Arrived Edinburgh and it was eye watering stuff watching 200 North
enders converge of Scotlands capital. Straight to one lusher were the rum was flowing along with a noisy
English parade to the next bar. The old Bill were like shit on a blanket and things took a little nasty turn for
the worse as some lads tried to start winding the old Bill up, the highlight being some dozy security bloke
trying break into his own van after locking himself out. While this is going on, some hard of hearing OAP mis
hears one of the lads and fucking whacks him breaking his walking stick and leaving lad with a nasty bruise
to show for his troubles.
To the Ground and "1 OAP Please" isn't going to pass here so it's an adult one. A minutes clap for Sir Bobby
Robson impeccably done by Hibs, full credit, and a chant of "There's only one Bobby Robson" followed by a
national anthem was all i'd come for. Now time for a snooze before going for something to eat and a chat
with the bird behind the counter. Another snooze, a chat with few lads and then the game picks up and North
End are looking good. 3-1 win, ace news, walk back to the city and to the 'Spoons for a few more beers
before boarding our train back to blighty.
i was fucking soaked in it and what a top train ride home, It was the party carriage which no normal person
would enter, 95% Nobbers singing anything from "Wise Men" to "God Save the Queen" to "She's Electric",
Even the Stoke lads lightened up and bought a few beers to join in. Next thing i'm being awoken in a bush
by the old bill, one last gin and tonic at the Victoria and its home with a Chinese.

Tales of International duty:
Dutch Away by Jimmy A, Ukraine Away by Blacky, Brazil in Doha by Bambs

Tales of Domestic duty:
Hibs Away by Blacky, Doncaster Away by Gaz, Leicester Away by Gaz, QPR Away by Gaz,
Cuntpool Away by Blacky, Cardiff Away part 1 by Blacky, Cardiff Away Take 2 by Gaz

Doncaster Away by Gaz

The first trip of the new season was shrouded in doubts as to who would actually make the trip to donny!
Seb was out after his back op, duck was goin to see tinchy strider and the english pig himself, blacky, was
laid low with swine flu!!

However blacky shook off swiney to drive me and belter back to yorkshire and the scene of last years best
away trip.

The restover lodge was booked and the drive down was eddie stobart incident free and included the usual
hgv piss stop.

On arrival we met up with JK and after tryin my hand at bein a hotel receptionist i treated the boys to a top
notch (if i dont say so myself) champagne picnic!

JK, fresh from a serious knee op, fucked his leg up tryin to climb a wall! To be fair black cleared it no probs
so no suprise he fancied his chances lol

We then got to baileys bar and to our delight it hadnt shut/been burnt down lol Prices were up 1p from 98p to
99p a pint so we were fair chuffed!

Pints and shots flew down (and afew came back up!) as we mixed with the local riff raf. Then at bout 2.45 we
thought we best get a taxi to the game....

In the 1st half we dominated and it looked as though it wud be another comfortable away win as it was 4
months previous

To celebrate we were suppin in the stands usin the old pint in coffee cup trips but donny hit back and it
ended 1 a piece

We were the last ones in the stand as a JK hobbled off the steward was after hurryin is up- cue a load of
abuse bein thrown in that dicks direction!

We did eventually leave and found big man (who had obviously gone off on a solo!!) and went for a sly pint
as we waited for a taxi

Back at the hotel it was a case of a quick change of pastin gear before returnin to baileys to start the big nite
out!

The shots got too much for beltz and he barfed all over the bar- the barmaid though it was me, egged on by
blacky, and to prove my inocence i had to prove i could stand up lol U know ur in a rum bar when bein able
to stand shows ur sober haha

The nite rolled on to the town centre and the yorkshire birds were lovin us and the preston away digicam-
know were no oil paintins but it was no suprise given the horrible yorkshire chavs to compete with lol

Blacky had a little run in with some of our asian "friends" and then took himself off on a solo- we assumed
he had gone to find old flame lisa but as it turned out it was for a kebab and to make a mess of the bed
sheets lol

The rest of us tried in vain to find a curryhouse- what sort of indian closes at 12.30????! Me thinks they didnt
fancy havin us! So we ended up at a chink and despite pissin them off we got fed before hittin the bunk beds.

In the morn i went to reception in what can oly be described as a flannel to ask for towells and was rightly
givin a lot of shit by the other punters

We then went for a spoons breaky where we met my new e-mail pal- a wierd geezer with a camera round
his kneck for a solo trip to the pub! Cant wait to hear from him lol

Then it was time to say goodbye to JK and make the trip home.

I know who im hopin for in the 3rd round FA cup draw!! Fuckin love it :-)

Holland v England by Jimmy A

The trio of myself, Tynan and Meatball set off from Preston at 2pm for our 7pm flight to the 'dam. Few
cheeky ones in Liverpool airport and the odd trickle of money from a bandit later and we're on through
check-in and onto the wetherspoons upstairs, quick one in there and then we're waiting for the security bit.
Bit of a wait for that and then give some scousers some bullshit about how they can pick tickets up in a
brothel and we're on the way to the 'dam.

Arrive, and make our way to the hotel – right in the middle of the museum district of 'dam, apparently 200
yards from where the England team were staying – according to Raj our taxi driver, yeah reet. Anyway,
bags dropped off, change of top and we're out trying to find the red lights. None of us had ever been 'dam
before, so we were screwed until we asked some guy head to toe in tattoo's where to go, and jobs a good
'un – we're there.

Quick pint in one pub before we spot some old bill blocking off the end of a street with an england flag flying
half way down outside a boozer. Walk in and see good old Serdy, Bill Routledge and a couple of other faces
from Preston. Happy days. Few more beers in there before moving on, and heard a bit of noise coming from
over the canal. Walk in and get talking to some Bristol Rovers lads , few beers later and we're all in the
street having a good sing song – ten german bombers etc, before some Dutch decides he wants to plough
through the lot of us on his moped. Next minute, two lads have the back of the scooter before one of the
rum Bristol Rovers lads nabs his keys and straight in the canal. Presume he walked home......

Also that night, coming on pretty early morning and a few were retreating back to their pits – some Turks
come over giving some of the English lads some grief, “you english hooligans? We turkish hooligans” -
next minute they're getting chased down the street before one typical turk arms himself with a bin full of
glass, but instead of lobbing it at the english he chucks it in the canal and runs after his other two turk mates
further down the street. Typical. In between near scrapes with Turks and seeing a ped key fly into the canal
was winding up the hookers, some proper hounds there it was like something from Crufts, but the odd
punter paid and every credit like – just not my cup of tea.

After the heavy night the night before we went down to the red light to see the scooter still outside the
same boozer, but with it been matchday the canal bridges were filling up with England flags nicely – and
bumping into a couple more from Preston around the city was a good touch. We got whiff of a bit of trouble
involving some Ajax lads trying to kick off, couple of texts coming through asking about the 15 arrests, all
Dutch – not that the typical english media reported it that way. England are away, there's trouble, must be
English. Fuck off.

Anyway got chatting to a few lads who've lived in the 'dam for a few years in a bar so they got us on the
tube to the ground. Got there and the size of the stadium is massive. Saw one of the lads I went college with
who's a massive Rovers fan who was trying to hide half a dozen spliffs around the ground for after the
game. Good old Carty.

Game itself was alright like, good comeback and a nice ground. The comeback was for Sir Bobby, an english
hero who was duly recognised all week in 'dam, every other song was for Sir Bobby – a true English great.
Had a good night Wednesday when back in the red light, busy night but no trouble at all. Spent the Thursday
pretty much chilling out, doing a bit of spending (got a decent Penguin polo for 20 euro) and saw Am'dam's
answer to the Jackson 5, the Jackson 3.

Would I do 'dam again, for footy yeah - but to me its one of them, if you're not into dope or the hookers, do it
once but a 2nd time could become a bit of a bore. I'll be proved wrong, more than likely.

Leicester Away by Gaz

After our rather rum antics in ayia napa beltz duck conway and my goodself were back on domestic duty
and a trip to the old walkers bowl

Trains prices are much like belters ex- hideous- so i decided to give big red another run out, quick trip round
preston to pick up the boys and were off. The lads braveley attemptin to get back on the beer

The trip consisted of lookin at hol photos- some are just gross!! and reminissin about the hol

Finally we get there and stick motor on a condemed bowling green. We have a quick check on the surface
and practice our moves before headin to a lush house

Its home fans only but were in pastin gear so quick change of accent and we blag our way in! We are met in
there by a couple of preston pegs (kayleigh and christine) who seem fine showin off there colours

Conway was a pullin machine on hol but his confidence took a knock as the barmaid turned down his
advances (she had a bf or she was all urs mate!)

Onto the ground and only one clown paid for adult- conway was in as an under 18! Touch base with nezz and
johnny then its time for the action

Surely one of the best results of the season as we end there long unbeaten home run with a 2-1 win and we
spot blacky playin the drums in the tigers end! Come on lad it was u wasnt it??

After the game we escape needin a police van this time and via bargain booze we are back on the road.

Conway spotted a car of tarts so at the lights he wrote out his number and ran to their car, window down and
gave it the ugliest one. I believe were still awaitin the call tho....

This would not be our last brush with a car full of birds- we spotted one on the outskirts of leicester but big
red cudnt keep up. With all hope gone we stopped off for a standard HGV piss stop but there they were!! We
chased em 100 miles per hour down motorway to show em a pic of ducks slong! They returned the favour
by flashin the baps! Result!!

The last drama on the road was big red runnin on empty, with some rum smells occurin we found a fill up
stop- phew!

Quick visit to see blackys sis and the doyles then it was town to meet ed and his rum mate ethan. I wont tell
u how he introduced himself to belter but u might see the pic....

Then it was just ur standard sat nite out in preston- not ayia napa but still alot of fun!

QPR Away by Gaz

QPR away could only mean one thing- train to London baby! So with tickets bought months in advance
Belter, Seb, Duck, Kayleigh and Christine joined me at the train station at 6am with bags and bags of
supplies!

Blacky was on a stop over weeked with fossil visitin war museums and that but we were plannin a meet

After the sucess of the pineapples trip to loftus rd in 2007 we kept up the fruit theme by bringing a melon
this time. Belter used the mascarra to give him a rum old face and i decked him out in a sombrero! After
some debatin we eventually settled on Neil Mellon as his name lol

Was great to be back on the train and the cans were flowin all round, a quick stop at crewe then we cracked
open the old fave Asda Asti on the last leg to Euston with belter makin friends with one glamerous
passenger! (possibly a hooker lol)

At the station we met up with Belters "top off" buddy- i think its Dicko- although i apologise if im wrong
mate!haha Then all the remaining cans were booked into lost luggage as we went on the hunt for a pub.

We made it aout 200 yards out of the station before realisin we didnt have a clue were to go. No one,not
even taxi drivers, had herd of a wetherspoon??! So we tried our look at a hotel, they did not like us and told
us no ale till noon and basically to piss off!

Tails between our legs it was back to the station and try our luck at the station bar- no ale till 10am, was 9.15
so feckin useless! We ended up buyin cans from the offy and suppin them near an emergency box playin
Kayleighs round the circle drinkin game and gettin picks with mells

Dicko and beltz werent payin 30p for a piss so they hurdled and "Klinsmmanned" over and under the
railings lol

Eventually we did get to a pub for beer with breaky- at this point beltz was pissed as fuck! We were worried
he werent gonna make it much further but some sausages sorted him out!

The underground is far to complex for us to work out and i had a bit of a fiasco in that i ended up flyin solo!
Train set out without rest of em on board and Kayleigh hopped off leavin me on my way to Belushis bar in
shepherds bush

Rest of em got fellow passengers to pose for pics in mells sombrero before eventually meetin me

We eyed up and then eventually claimed some leftover bites before headin off to another bar- the fresh air
hit and from this point on things get a little hazy.......

Afew of the lads went down an alley for a leak and we ended up roamin some back streets, at this point neil
mellon was impaled on a pole and left for dead!

Another pub stop before a stagger to the ground in time for some soccer! We crashed to a resondin 4-0
defeat- ouch! Just didnt go well on the day.

Equally frustratin was trin to get an ale at HT, beltz cued for 20mins to be told there was no berr left! This
obvioussly pissed many people off and there was a bit of a rucuss between fans and the police under the
ground.

After the game we worked our way back to euston with Christine gaggin for some meat inside her..... she
wanted a burger for all you out there with dirty minds lol

We recovered the goody bags and tried jumpin on the first direct train to the homeland- but this was
thwarted by the rail boys who spotted our tickets were at 7.40 and via manchester

So we had to go and supp in the waitin room before tryin again.... this time i held back our tickets and
basically accused the inspector of not givin em me back! Anyone that knows me knows that i cant lie for shit
but i made a good fist of this and aided by seb we got him to stick us on a direct train in first class!

The girls got some more champagne and using fruit and leftover sups beltz made us some cocktails,
however it werent long before we were ousted from the posh seats

We then lost 2 men- seb and dicko went mysteriously missing..... Dicko was found snoggin the face off a
preston peg who was with her mum!lol

Seb was later found on his own and lets just say he was dealing with some business haha

Back in preston and standard trip to Queen Vic for more beer and kareoke with the rest of the boys, always
fun.

Crackin trip despite the defeat and good on the girls for gettin into the spirit of things right from the off. As
for the belter v christine drinkin comp id call it a draw lol

Brazil Away by Bambs

Right lads, this is not your usual trip as we start off in the holy land of Saudi Arabia were i'm posted with
work. Morning starts
early rudely awoken by the mosque at the end of the road, its five bells. What am i going to do for another
two and a half
hours, well fuck all so i'm a bit pissed off. I roll out the villa and down to wake another lad Scott up who
foolishly was sampling
the home brew the night before. Me and Scott have lined a lift up to another compound where we head for a
cooked breakfast
of beef sausage and beef bacon, oh the joys of a Muslim country. We rock up at the checkpoint, cars
checked for bombs and
away we go.
For this trip i had to negotiate a couple of drivers due to the jeep not being allowed out of Saudi, the
things they do after
you run a Paki worker over. The two drivers happen to be Scottish one rocks up with a fucking Brazil shirt
on always game for
a laugh, so now the trip consists of 2 Jocks, 4 Loyalists form Belfast and 3 English, very different Quota.
So we set off on our drive to Doha, a four hour trip costing 7 quid in petrol. All is going well, poor Scott
has fallen asleep
due to over doing the home brew and the weather is about 37 degrees. Trips boring but a hour into the trip
Scott wakes up
and we stop at a shop for water and a piss. Everything is going so well then the home brew comes back to
haunt Scott, his
guts in tatters he ends up going in the worst toilet ever and i've seen some of Blackys pictures. This was so
bad i couldn't
bring myself to take a picture. Back on the road we had to stop for some camels crossing eventually we
rock up at the border,
the slag behind the counter was feeling horny - she showed us some EYES. After a fucking hour we are
through, 9 lads
chomping on a real beer after leaving Saudi, work out its another fucking hour and a half to Doha. Spirits a
bit down here
usually on a england trip i cant see after 5 hours.
We get into Doha to be greeted by one of the Irish boys mates, Bronko. He's put a BBQ on and some ale -
MAGIC, everyone's
happy now. We spend a couple of hours there then take a windy trip to the hotel and check in, every one
goes for a shower so
to avoid the queue, I wander down to the bar, It's class, get a pint in, It's full of English and crickets on, can't
beat it. Well as
you guessed not having a real ale for 5 months I took advantage. Got a shower and off to the night club,
dave the jock was po-
go-ing on the dance floor and i was trying to consume as much ale as possible, it was a long day but we
were the last in the
club, well 3 of us.
Match day - who cares??? Well i've seen so many a friendly, it wasn't the top of my list but these lads had
never been so I get
up about 8 and go round the pool bar he opens at 9 so i jump in and swim over, "pint please mate"! He's not
opem till 12 the
bastard. I spend the entire morning staring at the beer pump 12 comes and i'm on it. Eventually peel away
fro a Q&A with Ray
Parlour which was quite good, more lager and its off to the game on a fucking bus that took for ever. We get
to the ground,
why I buy a ticket I don't know as we walked straight in again. Put the flag up, watch the first half, its shit so
thats me, fuck this
i'm off to the hotel for more ale. Everyone else had the same idea as we bump into the other 5 outside,
could we get a taxi?
Could we fuck so we get in some mushes car at the traffic lights and get a lift, We are a terrorists best mate,
all he needed were
the boiler suits. Back to the hotel were more ale is consumed until we are the last to leave. We had a short
night as we had to
get out the hotel at 9am as some lads were working at 3.30pm, the inconsiderate bastards. It's a long fucking
drive.
All the Best No Surrender

Blackpool by Blacky

So weren't off to best of starts when I pick Hurricaine up from Phantom Winger and as a joke put a balaclava
on and trying try start giving evils to a driver only to find the old bill were on my trails. Not a great start, so
tail between legs Balaclava off i drive like a good one till they eventually turn off and meet Gaz at Pig and
Whistle, our usual Scum away day pub.

Msh and Laura Swindells who was chauffeur for the night turned up as we finished off our drinkks. It was a
quiet old drive up were we parked up and with 30 mins to spare to the ground, a few rum photos and
witnessing a steward getting fucked up in a crush after Wallaces goal was too much excitement for one
night. So with a 1-1 draw it's back to car for home, but not before Balaclava's out again intimidating drivers
as we get out the car park and it worked as we drove home having found we'd been on SKY and lsitening for
the next installment of "Hideous" off Mash for Soapbox. one not to be missed. For a Monday night and only
a 40 mile round trips, quite eventful in action but not so much on paper.

Cardiff Away - Part 1, Blacky day trip

Cardiff away was final instalment of International duty of 2009 and with the lads going for a night on Cardiff I
was due a solo on the train . . . until I had the pleasure of Christine, James and Kayleigh. Asda at 11.30pm
Friday night for the stash with first can cracked in the dark at 5.55am Saturday morning on train station. it
was going be a long day on the ale. James had done the honour and made a whole pigs worth of sausage
butties. Into Manchester and swapped trains, We hadn’t even left Manc when we had our first victim who
just couldn’t bear the thought of 3 hours with us. I done a quiz to keep us occupied and it ended up half the
train joining in, this is before I nearly killed some bloke with a cork with Christine kindly providing the
champers.

Arrive in a blustery Cardiff, stash whats left of the ale and the food and in to Wetherspoons for a few beers
and a breakfast before finding ourselves a quaint little boozer to finish of festivities before taxi to ground. I
went in search of my blagged ticket as the others went in to get out of the rain. Great time was had even if I
found Welsh people do not like balaclavas, shame about the result, but fuck it. We was well oiled luckily and
I actually slept through the second half. Back out in to the rain and a dressing down off the Old Bill as I
remember the words “You’ve been a pain all game”, fucking hell you’d though I’d been running amok. A wet
walk back to the station, pick up our stash out of a bin store with few more supplies and it was a busy old
train back.

Another bit of a chat with GMP before the train back to Preston were we had a good laugh with a newly
engaged couple enjoying some Archers and some fella’s who’d been on Christmas market, anyway
disembark and straight into the Old Vic, for some G&T’s, a bit of Karoke, which was a right effort with the
state I was in before having chat with Big STAN. Finish off at 1.30am in Dilshads before getting head down,
Was working like a Fat Mess by 8am with a half Eaten Dilshads for Breakfast. International duty – can’t beat it.

Cardiff Away, Take 2 by Gaz

6.10am and I was still fast asleep but Blacky, Christine, Kayleigh and James were on the train, with booze
galore, on the way to Cardiff. We would meet them later.....

Duck picked up seb, beltz and me at a more respectable time and we were on the road ourselves, cans
cracked and banter flowin

About half an hour in the married man of the group almost pissed himself but we stopped just in the nick of
time, this led to a procession of piss stops with belters bladder weaker than ever!!

Still we were havin fun and seb delighted us with his song to the tune of "your mums yer dad...."- "Monday
to friday, 9 to 5, we work like pricks just to survive, when weekend comes we lose our head, even though
one of us is officially wed, suppin, pissin, shittin to, what the fuck do us boys do, we'll meet big blacky there
no doubt, cos hes on the choo choo with Kayleigh and Troupe!"

Absolute genius if u ask me.

On arrival in Cardiff ducks sat nav died so we had no idea were to go. Seb had the brains to think he could
ring mrs salisbury for directions. He also had the balls to throw in the cheesey line ever sayin "if carlsberg
made wifes ud be up there!" Not suprisingly it was met with silence at other end of the blower lol

Still we got to the hotel and happy days it was a pub with bedrooms!! But we were bein stingy and only got a
room for 2 for the 4 of us! Armed with an airbed, covers and about 6 bags/cases me and duck tried to book in
while belter heckled us from the bar!

And then from no-where i went through the bookin in process with a welsh (or geordie??!) accent! The
woman was clueless and after workin out my name wasnt "marin" we were in business!

Quick pint at hotel, which "i cant down" duck ate- the poor lad must have been gaggin by this time then it
was taxi to another lush house near the ground to watch the dingles lose while celebratin on the shots.

We got on the game late as fuck and on there we found the rest of the clan- blacky pissed out of his skull
with a balaclava on!!lol He just about had enough energy for the national anthem, to argue with the police
about his choice of headwear and a half time pint before sleepin through the 2nd half!!!

In case u dont know mate we lost 1-0 in a pretty poor game and the only thing worse was the weather, it was
monsooning down as we said goodbye to the train travellers and swam to a pub!

Back at our hotel we pumped up the airbed and got ready for the nite out on yet more champers! We started
with a cavery and then took to playin a wierd game of beer cricket which ended when i whipped the wickets
(a chair!) over!! Time to go boys so we got a taxi to town....

Big old nite with plenty of shots and how i werent sick ill never know! As per usual we made friends with the
locals. We spent a good while with some random old head, then we met the bin bag girls and some mush
who lost the rest of his stag do party but was happy enough with a pocket full of mdna tablets lol

We the club emptyin we decided to go home. But we hadnt had a bite- duck saw his opportunity and made a
dash for the cavery leftovers only to be chased to bed by the old security mush haha

It was a dry nite for seb which is always a bonus when u have 3 6 footers in 2 singles and duck on the
airbed! So to celebrate we got back on the ale and gave ourselves some very stylish side partings for the
day lol

Down at the bar we were reminded of our cricket exploits and before my accent completely went to shit we
did one to the park and ride (i know very random!!)

But not to worry we werent about to go xmas shoppin we were off to spoons for cheap food and drink on
our AIG works do!!

At this point seb broke the news that he was supposed to be cookin tea at home at 4 and as it was already 2
there was trouble ahead!lol He decided the only thing to do was to say duck was off his head and couldnt
drive yet lol

Still we were already plannin for the Ox do- thats the anti stag do which u go on before u get divorced
hahaha

We did eventually head home via an offy for pink lambrini, asti and scratchcards- which seb won on!

A great success for the boys, just like this welsh invasion weekend had been througout.