| 2007/08 Diaries - Missed trains, arrests and failures . . . PrestonAways 2nd season on the edge |
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| Tales of International duty: Russia Away by Blacky, Austria Away by Blacky, New Zealand Away by Blacky, France away by Bambs |
| Tales of Domestic duty: West Brom Away by Gaz, Coventry Away by Gaz, Cardiff Away by Gaz, Ipswich Away by Gaz, Barnsley Away by Gaz, Hull Away by Gaz, Croatia Home by Blacky, Wolves Away by Gaz, Burnley Away by Gaz, Stoke Away by Gaz, Derby Away by Gaz, Watford Away by Gaz, Charlton Away by Gaz, Scum Away by Gaz, QPR Away by Gaz, Bristol City Away by Gaz, New Zealand Home by Blacky |
| West Brom Away by Gaz Me, Seb and Belter meet up at 9ish decked out in pastin gear with cans in hand. Belter gets on the vodka early doors and its finished in quick time. Arrive West Brom and asSeb went to the bin me and Belter were simultaneously sick in a car park, this is 11am!! We find an old school Brummie social Club- Kev the bar guy looks like he shud have been in the Grimleys! He still gets a free pint out of Belter for beatin him at pool tho- hes only the pool team captain aint he! 2 Other blokes in- Ones gaggin for brandy and the other tells us about killing people. Gets a bit deep so we hit the bar hard! Next stop was a pub of 100% Baggies fans. We stuck out a bit with Northern accents and that. Pissed bar guy off straight up by calling him Rishi! Seb managed to chip a tooth in there playin footy with some kids. On the game Belter sacks me and Seb off, he whips his top off and marches to the back of the stand on his own! lol, We went on to lose 2-0. After the game we have to wait for our train so the pub seems the best option. Me waitin for a taxi we go to the offy for supplies and Belter is hell bent on stealin a watermelon! Taxi turns up just in time but takes us to the wrong flamin station. OK so weve missed a train there will be others so we go Wetherspoons for a bite, a bite turns into right good sup with belter rantin away about life! We finally do get to the train station but oh dear no more trains to Preston! Now were in shit! We find the nearest hotel but its fully booked, only 1 thing for it.... hit the bar! Not hard tho as £8 a pop, robbin bastards. Belter and Seb passin out fascinates a group of birds from Ormskirk so they wake em up and join us for a sup. Surely they will let us kip on there floor now im thinkin.... wud they fuck! Were soon kicked out of the hotel and find ourselves walkin the streets. A bin shelter was lookin very temptin but luckily we got in to some student accomo and slept under the stairs- not comfy! Its an ironic mornin as we got a taxi to a 24 hour supermarket which is shut??!! Then find a perfectly good hotel with vacancies- too little too late! Got train home around the time Priory were kickin off there first competitive game of the season! Bloody good trip tho as was ended by a lunchtime sup in Hartleys wine bar on our arrival back in Preston. |
| Coventry Away by Gaz After a typically heavy friday nite Belter picked me and Tony up for the trip to the Richo- a full 7 hours before k.o. for a 2 hour trip! First stop was the bookies and then Sainsburys for supplies, we treated the driver to a low alcohol lager for the drive down! As soon as we got to Coventry the hunt was on for a lusher. The first one we found was a shithole! No food, no sky- crap! I shocked the depressin locals by stickin a bit of ABBA on for 'em tho! We soon fucked off and found a better alehouse. After a quick bite we watched the scores and all our bets went down the pan! I was just chuffed to be suppin though and had to get 2 rounds for losin bets, had an arguement with the bar staff over payin on my card (thank christ i cudnt!!) and celebrated owens goal for my budston with a rolly poly! On the game we finally scored our first of the season! Good lad Paddy. But 2 late goals meant it was another defeat. On the way home we were optimistic of organisin a big nite out. But half way into my lambrini i was ko’d and that dream was over. Next thing i know i was at footy puking up in the car park!! But hey at least we made the game this time lol. |
| Cardiff City Away by Gaz From the moment i was sat on the train station at bout 7.30ish with belter and duck talking seriously as fuck bout going to a 50 cent gigg i knew this were gonna be a right old trip! Cans for breaky and a bob marley cd was given as a loving present to one lucky passenger courtesy of that smoothie belter. First brush with authorities came in Crewe for drinkin in a shop before 11- they shifted us all of 5 feet!! Nearly all went wrong as we thought we were gonna miss the connection train but after missin a train or 2 already this season we managed to stop the rot. Belter smashed into the vodka at bout 9.30, you could see it was gonna get messy. and at that point i thought it was a good idea to get on the wine....... Belter topped that by having a brandy and washing it down with, you guessed it another brandy! He then managed to rob us another bottle of wine! At this stage we had a new pal - some guy fresh from malia thinking he was the party man of mainland Europe. Duck christened him porker. he got some shit he did. In cardiff and we could feel we'd had a drink now but we still had the cells to follow the locals to the ground. one guy loved us and even fucked northerners in pastin gear. Onto the game and back on good old terracin! Quick pint to keep us goin for 45mins then tops off for k.o.! Me and duck did bout 15mins, belter was topless for 90mins of course. I didnt count but im sure the police/stewards came up to belter bout 8 times to tell him to calm down during the game - he weren't for calmin though and was givin the welshys some right shit! you wudnt have thought they have a rep for being hooligans! Callum is at the double as we steal a last min draw- our first away day point!! On the way out the stewards advise us to do one sharpish and he is horrified for us as we tell him were stoppin over. Don't know bout the other 2 but i was abit worried when all the Cardiff thugs recognised belter and were sayin "got your shirt on now have ya?". Belter just didnt give a fuck. We then went to one of the roughest pubs goin and within minutes beltz then duck passed out!! I decided to mingle with the locals as they told me their fightin stories. We were in some state when we got back to ducks aunties but they were great hosts and fed us and lets us use the shower. This sobered us up enough that we could go out that night. Startin on the beater and the shots got us goin and it werent long before we were rippin the town up sat nite preston style. Ended up on a hunt for a curry house but there was none to be found in the whole of cardiff! i remember thinking blacky would not be impressed. Back to the house and we have to knock em up to let us in! Still theres a great breakfast spread on for us in the morn. Then it was time to do one. Being delayed on the train was only ever gonna lead to us hittin the bar and that we did! We also made new friends- Diaby, Leadbetter and franny j - You'lll have to see our wallets for further details on that tho. Straight off the train and into the lusher to meet conway and barnes for the utd chelsea game. Me and pudds stayed out that night and all i can say is thank fuck i was off work that monday !lol |
| Ipswich Away by Gaz The main work for this jaunt was done on the fri nite with a trip to the offy then careful plans to conceal our ale. Good job aswel cuz coach stewards first job was to ask anyone with ale to hand it over before we set off - me and belter (on our first duo of the season) didn't. In fact belter made a start on his vodka before we had even left deepdale! As the suppin got goin people were thinkin we loved pop and that we had weak bladders. The booze made the 5 hour trip fly by and we were soon staggerin off in ipswich. First job - find a lusher! In we went and we got on the shots straight off. Some guy belter had worked with once was in and he wouldnt leave beltz alone. i think he loved him and had done so for a while now. With the rugby on and a good atmosphere building it kicked off! Some youngster had been in or summit and beltz was asked for id at the bar- no problem Then he had to prove who he was with was 18 - so i marched over, again no problem. Then the barmaid served 2 other people before u s- PROBLEM. Full of ale we started giving em some shit and were kicked out of the pub, i think we were barred! On the game and a quick pint before gettin to our seats. Naturally belter had his top off at this stage. Plenty of north end fans got in trouble by the police for standing and it was only a matter of time before beltz got a talkin too! We lost 2-1 and were pretty shit to be honest. After joking about missing the coach the police informed us we had gone the wrong way out of the ground! Reality hit home so we sprinted round ipswich lookin for our coach. We were last back on. So at this stage we weren't the most popular folk on there and it got worse!! The steward and the driver had been tipped off bout us drinking and paraded up and down the coach with our empties readin us the riot act! Oh dear. Thick twats may have took some vodka and lambrini but they left our big bottles of pop lased with vodka drinking soon resumed! At the services we were collared again and told that Seb Salisbury was barred from North End coaches! The trip had been booked in his name. Me and beltz also had to show id so were barred too. After a sleepy (well passed out) final trek home we knew we weren't makin town- again! So back to the train next time eh!! |
| Russia Away by Blacky It’s a strange one as me and Fossil head to Russia. So it started with a Manchester – Prague – St Petersburg stint and after 2 hours sat with Ladas’s and Skoda's we make it into our quite plush apartment. We did all the tourist shit while there as you do for first few days, n'ewt to wanking. Saturday night came and we hunted a British bar – The Liverpool – To watch the rugby World Cup semi against French, We made it our own as around 30 English joined us. It was a memorable night as England crushed France as we headed out in to the bitter St. Petersburg night ale’d up. Get back to the apartment and doors only fucked, so I spent the next 10 minutes as a human wrecking ball knocking the fuck out of a 2 inch thick metal door, Finally the door gave and the door was well and truly fucked. Next day was a day at ease, as we made our way on a 8 hour journey to Moscow on the train, The snow was drifting and the booze flowing. Into a damp miserable Moscow, a Burger and straight to a drunken slumber. Monday and Tuesday was spent doing all the Tourist sight seeing trail in the midst of a red herring run to the British Embassy for tickets. The Stoke lad who tipped us off forgot to tell us we needed to be a member and when I was found to have travelled without even being a EF+ member, the shit hit the fan and I and Fossil was enemy number 1. By this time the Yorkshire contingent had pulled in and was in formidable numbers, so with fossil finding himself a bit of Russian "meat", I spent Tuesday night up at there hotel eating Chinkys and drinking bleach like vodka. One thing that was notice able was pockets of England fans pissing with blood who’d been attacked in and around Moscow. The Russians were holding vantage points near tube stations and outside hotels attacking fans, but they was no where near the hotel packed with 2000 England. Police ended up shackling the door and no one was allowed to leave so I had no where to sleep but remember Stan who we stuck up for in Estonia, being a top bloke I was to dig it on his floor with all inclusive ale. Breakfast with the lads and back to central Moscow for a few more hours shut eye before a taxi to the ground and no sooner had we made it into the Russian end we are back out on our arses so round to the England end for a chance to slip the net, no chance. After arguing the toss and a bribe to the plod we’re in much to the disgust of some people who I’d seen in the queue previous day at the embassy. Game over we leave and lose our crew, so with no money its hood up, head down and a 2 mile walk back to Moscow thinking one false move and it's curtains. I’d met Clarky in Tel Aviv and he was only in same digs so tail between legs we head out to a local bar and it gets to 6.30am before we get our heads down. Its 10am and we head for Moscow airport to fly home. On Arrival in Manchester we get the big pull by customs who take great delight in relieving us off our contraband goodies, fucking horrible bastards that they are. 2 words never again. |
| Barnsley Away by Gaz After mine and ducks quiet fri nite duo turned out to be anything but i found myself sleepin in and rushin like fuck for the 8.52 train! I arrived just in time and found blacky, belter, seb and duck there suited and booted, very smart. In most worlds me duck and seb startin on the cans before 9am would be wild but as blacky was on the wine and beltz started with vodka and vk (yes that was his mixer) it felt ok. Blacky put together a quiz for us to see which 2 would accompany him in the exec box. Odds were available on the winner and i stuck on myself and did the job! Bookies favourite duck missed out on the box seat to seb! At this stage we were joined by some old dears interested in our suppin! Beltz were more interested in gettin into bettys knickers! I told em id just been divorced from emma in kidderminster! lol. We got into leeds and went straight to the pub. Blacky, who by this point had had 2 bottles of wine went off shoppin for a third!! Getting rowdy now..... chantin and that and this led to our first brush with the law, only the transport police tho and blacky didnt half give em some shit! Blackys next plan for us was to have a draw on todays score. "Match abandoned" was one of the choices. i thought i had a winner there!! Some dick in leeds was gettin pissed off we were havin a good time but decided to wait till he got off the train to threaten us by punchin the window. Tough kid. We get to Barnsley and beltz whips his pants down and sticks his tie round his head doing kung fu moves, we had arrived! Locals didnt approve and tried to suggest "its abit posh roun ’ere". Blacky, 3 bottles of wine down him now, just started chantin loud as fuck "we all hate barnsley!". The police had a quiet word again. It gets blurry for me now but i kinda remember strollin round Barnsley and the police over again to speak to blacky! Maybe they shud have had an eye on beltz as as soon as they went he hurled a sign into garden! At the ground all 5 of us managed to sneak into the exec box were we met blackys england mates! They cud not believe how fucked big man was and said he had never been like this on england away games, he passed out on with them, ocassionaly coming to asking for a pint of wine lol. We all got a 3 course meal which was top grup, beltz had bout 3 soups and all the biscuits. Blacky got his banoffi pie all over himself! We were then asked if we wanted our photo taken on the pitch - too rite!! Although we couldn't shift blacky and fuck knows were seb was. Down we went and after a knock back by Brett a nervous simon whaley joined beltz for a pic! The official programme pic will have beltz lickin an old guys head on it!! We were back upstairs for k.o. and naturally beltz whipped his top off and sat down with his pint. Apparantly thats not allowed in the box we were shocked to discover! Was wierd watchin game behind a screen but seein us lose was not a new experience. After the missed pen beltz kicked a chair and stormed off disgusted with the performance! We said our thanks and goodbyes and when we found beltz at train station he was about to get the wrong train haha. On the train blacky was chattin up some 15 year old lasses who were simply amazed at the size of him! This kinda turned to stalkin as blacky followed em round leeds station shoutin there names. After a quick ale refill we got a mcdees but after order 2 big macs and a chicken sandwich meal blacky didnt make the train! No suprise as the cunt was eatin instead of runnin!! Off we went without him but i had all the tickets and blacky was fuckin hammered. We knew we had to go back so me duck and seb jumped off at new pudsey to go back. Beltz had to head home for the biggest fireworks display on the planet hosted by everyones main man - dave slater! When we found blacky he was in love!!! After CB, then french it was a chink this time. What a lovely couple They weren't all nice tho and an old woman, presumably an alchy who cudnt afford a sup, had a rite pop at us for drinkin and swearin. We gave her the benefit of the doubt to start with but she was soon told to fuck off. With wine no 4 down blacky passed out. Me seb and duck amused ourselves with txtin hotshot dave swindells and talkin to some dingle twat. At the station seb got a lift home and ne and duck were left tryin to pull a big man out off a bush!! Remarkably we did it and even more shockingly we made a nite out!!! Belter rejoined us along with Nezz and Max and we did town then a party! Was a brilliant trip, prob my fave so far to be honest and thats sayin sumat cuz loads have been ace! |
| Hull Away by Gaz Belter was in the motor for this one and picked me up early doors, we were both feelin the effects of the nite before so sausage buttys and strong coffee were first stop. We then picked blacky and his mate Carl up and got on the road. Blacky was again on the wine! Not lambrini either, proper bottles of red and white wine! We stopped off at a service station and beltz stuck the slater mobile in the truckers car park! i think it fit in just right lol. After bookies and food we were back on the road and blacky was ringin the chinese girl he had met in leeds last week. But he was a broken man when i chinky fella kept answerin!! Heart breakin. We got to Hull early to watch Sunderland vs Newcastle in the lush and blacky treated us all to a round of double vodka red bulls, £20!!! Heart breaking again for big man. Pissed up by now Blacky decides the car park attendant were a right nice bloke, so he gave him a full bottle of red to give to his mrs! On the ground and blacky and carl went off with the stewards to put the massive North End flag up, im guessin me and beltz went to the bar! On the game we went 2 down in no time and we were shite! But the highlight was the hull fans singin to Blacky and him respondin by whippin his top off and dancin for em! Lickin his nips and the lot- he put a better show on than north end!! As the 3rd went in mass protests started against simmo. Blacky decided enough was enough and he wanted simmo out! Ive tried to defend the guy but this was poor. After the game blacky and carl were seriously thinkin about waitin outside the players exit to protest. Me and beltz just wanted to go for a sup! Back in the pub and all the hull lads recognised blacky from the game. They were all pretty sound and blacky was soon makin mates and invitin the entire pub to Preston for the reverse fixture! On the way home we all passed out, except beltz thank god, and organisin a nite out weren't happenin. So we just went to ducks for a chinwag and to see mrs doyle of course haha |
| Croatia Home by Blacky Me, Gaz, Mash, Duck, Lyndon and Gordy were to head to Wembley for the all important final qualifying game against Croatia only having to avoid defeat to book our trip to the Alps in summer 2008. The early signs weren’t good when we had to evacuate the train at Wigan as we started on the sups. Into London and to our hotel, The Hilton only 100 yards from the new home of football. A photo with the Sir Bobby Moore statue, and a few hours in the fitness club preparing for night out and we was in a taxi to London straight to a steak house and after a tip top little day things go a bit shit from here as we was refused entry to just about every bar in the West End. Getting a bit hacked off I leave the lads to go to a nightclub full of Africans in Senegalese tracksuits while I went on a solo to Yates. Duck ended the night by being chatted up by a Chesney Hawks lookalike over a burger. Matchday we sniff a fry up café and while smashing a pork farm up I get a call to be told I’m in Nut’s licking my tits at Hull 2 weeks ago. Back to hotel for a swim and sauna before going to get ready for the game with a few beers. Now as you know, it's never easy for big lad to have a straight forward trip, and as “Preston Away Travel” tour representative, I was called to reception, this is were you think which twats shit in the Sauna, so off I trot to reception and was told that as a group of 6 lads we wasn’t there usual clientele and would we wear PINK wristbands to identify ourselves. Head up to ground all the while Duck is busy “barffing his cock off”. By fluke we was only 20 seats away even though we had bought in different sections. The RAF did a lap of honour which was duly boo’d from the Croat’s AKA cunts. Everyone knows what happened next so won't go into it but a few lads head to bar to try a lighten there spirits up as we watch the idiot on the idiot box refusing to resign, We make light of them losing the San Marino ball in the South Africa draw but the lads are hurting in different ways, anyway fuck to it we’ll make our own European tour as we have booked a bounty tour to the tax free paradise of Luxembourg and it’s a early train at 6.30am. We awake at 4am and we are seriously considering fucking it off, we are tired, depressed and its cold and pissing down outside as the floodlights still shine at Wembley. I was depressed to hell, we eventually decide to get down with this shit, awake Gaz and leave Gordy and Lyndon in bed for the return later home (More about that later on) as we get the 1/2 mile taxi to the tube station and head to Eurostar. We are eventually speeding our way to the continent full of business boys as we get started on Gaz’s Boddingtons, much to the dislike of the locals. We eventually arrive in Luxembourg City to Mike Bassett like chants of “Luxembourrrg Luxembourrrg Luxembourrrg”. Duck’s only left his return tickets all the way back to Preston on the train so back we go and there no were to be seen. 2 hours rooting in bins and after England fans exploits here in 1983, not a chance they was going to help us. Duck bites the bullet and buys himself a new return ticket to London. Too late to get to a cigs/booze warehouse we decide to do the next best thing, a walk around the Red Light District, a Mcdonalds and a few beers. We start to make our way back through Europe sleepily with some ale in time for the Eurostar were we are back at the antics again. I'd kill two birds with one stone in the toilet as such, leaving me hot, sweaty and smelling of shit while Mash takes a fancying to some bird and while at the bar takes in the smells of her seat. We’ve cleared the carriage apart from one Frenchy that’s loving the entertainment. Back into London we go from rags to riches and are in some stuffy Kings Cross hotel as we finish the night in some Jazz bar. As you may remember we also had Lyndon and Gordie on board. We’d left them Thursday morning as we headed to Luxembourg. They were due to get a dinner time train back to Preston. They’d been down in the bar till all hours entertaining as such, and so overslept, they then got a taxi to Euston costing a fortune only to miss there train. They get the next one, however with there tickets not for that train, it starts to kick off with the conductor who aint playing game, with the threat of the police Lyndon put it on his card for both and get off at Stoke, a burger and a Stagecoach later are back into Preston – Not happy chappies at all. It’s now Friday, we head for breakfast, or a fucking Jacket Potato in Gaz’s case and it’s not long before we are heading back to Preston, with Duck having bought a ticket to Rugby for £30 in the hope it will only be checked once. Arrival is prompt with Duck getting back no danger and I’m off home to change my case from Jeans to Shorts as I head to Morocco the very next day for a few days R&R. |
| Wolves Away by Gaz 3 debutants on this trip as pudds, ed and nezz joined me duck and beltz on this jaunt. This time it was ducks turn to be runnin late after the fri nite out! But he made it, decked out in his trousers like the rest of us, just in time! Nezz was in a £99 white jacket he bought 3 years ago but had never worn add to this the fact that he and ed had grown moustaches, beltz had dyed his hair black and pudds had a goatee so we were lookin sharp. Werent long before we were makin friends! A black dude called trey was on the train suppin wifebeaters on his own. i think he was glad of the company when we got on! There was also "beany" who now has Ed and nezz as his phone background. It was his birthday and to celebrate he was give a can spiked with vodka! Beltz and nezz werent fuckin about as they were on vodka and rum, pints of!! We thought we spotted red dwarf and corrie actor craig charles hop on board but conway was left dissapointed after chasin him up the train. At this stage nezz, shirt off, got confused and thought we were callin some scottish guy craig david! Alot of craig david renditions ensued. Beltz then shocked trey by pissin on the seat behind him. i thought he had stormed on in a huff but he was soon back with us. Our first act upon gettin in wolves was for ed to use the womens bogs. Now i didnt go in there but from what ive herd it was messy in there. Next stop was spar for more ale. Me and pudds got a bottle of baileys and destroyed in about 20 minutes! Ed sparked up instore and was kicked out! The threat of a £1000 fine doesnt seem to worry that boy as we would find out later....... At one stage we found a handbag but we did the decent thing and conway chased after the lady to give it back. he expected a reward, he got fuck all. At our hotel i was havin trouble bookin in and it was made worse by nezz and ed pissin on the reception! Even if they did think it was beer they didnt want us and who could blame em- aled up, pissin, the one tryin to be sensible swiggin from a bottle of baileys and a couple passed out! We were kicked out of our hotel before we had even booked in!!! Thats good goin even for us. Now homeless nezz, beltz, ed and conway tried some hotels. Me and duck thought sack it and found a pub instead In the pub nezz was spicin our drinks up with bacardi from the spar. it werent long before conway was sick! To celebrate this fact he got a round of vodkas in! Horrid stuff. Ed spewed all over the gaff so out we went. We left nezz lookin for hair dye as we went to the game, late as normal. Cold december day in wolves but tops were off much to the pleasure of Mrs McKenna who we were sat with! Pudds went to the front of the crowd, topless, to get the crowd goin! Quick ale at half time then back to the action were as predicted there was no simmo. On comin down ed hopped over the border near the pitch to get to us. There were signs all over sayin £2000 fine for encrochment but he was ok. Once is a mistake, twice is feckin stupid so when he hopped over again about 8 stewards pounced on him and dragged him out via the wolves end!! We played ok but it was yet another defeat- 1-0. After the game we were gutted to hear that ed had been arrested! hes due back in wolverhampton court next week (Got let off scot free in the end)! Conway thought he was a lawyer at this stage and went to the courts to get ed out. I werent suprised that it didnt work. Beltz somehow managed to find a hotel with 3 single rooms so as beltz and duck booked in me and Conway sneaked past and in! Result! In the room nezz had a bottle of rum and was in gloves dyin his hair- ginger as it turned out! Me and beltz got on the rum and had to be sick in the bath. we then decided to wreck our room. it was all very rock and roll haha. Down in the bar me and conway convinced an older couple that we were backin singers to a bryan adams tribute act. We gave abit of a freeby by singing em a couple of our classics. Me duck and conway had a bite and a wine in nandos while nezz and beltz went for pub grub. I dont think ed was given any by the cops. Bein the kind understanding friends were are, we decided it would be funny as fuck to leave ed a voicemail of akons locked up tune! Thankfully he weren't locked up all night and he managed to find us in a nearby lusher. Wolves was a good nite out and highlights that i can remember are a group of lasses goin mad because we might of called em slags! A fairy losin her skirt, nezz goin mad at the tallest man in the world and tellin him to grow up and get a tash! I also herd that nezz was dancin on his own with some eyes and teeth hahahaha. After the club a few of the boys went on a rum little taxi jaunt. Me and duck opted out and went to bed, or the floor in my case! I later herd beltz had a double bed to himself!! Think it were 3 in a bed in the other room tho so the floor did me That morn nezz jumped on a train to northampton to start a new adventure.....The rest of us went wetherspoons and i got a round in to get us goin! Wine and sass was askin for trouble and duck overherd bar people sayin "give them till 3!" We left before we were kicked out on this ocassion tho! On the train ryan took an instant dislike to us and along with some other moanin fuckers did there best to get us kicked off! Ok we were pissed and maybe abit loud but we werent doin any harm. Thank christ she werent on the train on the way there!! Drinkin continued in preston until everyone started goin home. i was left on a solo in angels takin to some random old couple! I was very glad to see barnes arrive to take me home! |
| Austria Away by Blacky I was to meet John W from Leeds in Vienna so It was a lonesome start to Austria via Zurich. Arrive in to Vienna and the British Old Bill are tramping my toes again. Brush them off and to the airport bar for a few hours getting plastered while watching the locals gather for the England teams placards saying “I Love you Wayne Rooney”, “I want your babies David Beckham” and “Steve Mclaren you are the biggest fucking waster since Taylor … Cha”. The snow is falling heavy and it’s a wee bit nippy on the nipples but the wine is a comfort and I catch the bus as it ploughs its way through snow and slush arriving in Central Vienna where my hotel is literally just off the square. After a few false starts to find the correct street with the hotel I’m in and checked in and straight to the bar. Not long after John appears, He’s had a hard time after certain problems in Russia. Anyway I have a previous appointment in my room to attend to so I leave him with a bottle of Asda wine I’d brought. Deeds are done. But John manages to swing a favour and he’s away for an hour doing his errands. Eventually we are out in to Vienna and into a strip club. John talks to the talent while I share a pizza with some Russian madam. We get a taxi to another joint and John being John speaks as blunt as a cunt and is telling the driver in his way he wants no shit stripclub. We pull up outside another gentlemans bar and John says he’ll go suss it out. As soon as John disappears boosh cars off with door open banging several other cars and taxi driver starts saying “just me and you now me and you”. He’s told in no uncertain terms to stop the taxi, of which he refuses so I’m left with no option but to strangle the cunt into his own seat. He slowly comes to a stop, I get out and he screams off with 2 doors still opening banging fuck out of stationary cars and for his trouble I boot his bumper in with a kung fu kick which I coincidently strain my groin. It’s a long walk back to the hotel in the early hours through 1 foot of deep snow. Next morning out for breakfast followed by a wander to one of the markets were we end up supping wine out of the snow. We are waiting for the rest of the “pudding” contingent arriving. We form an awaiting committee at their chosen hotel. The afternoon is mainly taken up drinking in several bars and larking about in the snow. We end up back in our hotel supping before getting a taxi to the game. The taxi drivers a foreign cunt and plays stupid pretending not to know were the stadium is, Patience eventually runs out and John gets out and tells him to fuck off, the old cunt of a Turk didn’t like it so squares up, which results him being led in the snow shouting for the police with his Police Alarm on his taxi going. We just stroll off and get on the subway. We arrive at the ground late, cold and pissed also missing the national anthem (which consequently is the best part) so at half time taxi’s back to the hotel and it’s a right result as we end up sat with a Norwegian Nurse’s convention. We are back supping wine even before the end of the game and until the bar shuts. No result with the nurses. Up late and a very quick pack and we catch a taxi to the airport. We have the last supper in the airport bar before John heads off to Heathrow and I make my way back to Manchester just in time to watch Israel v Russia in airport bar, However I’m disgusted to say it was Scotland v Italy. Italy score I jump up in celebration to the disgust of the other dozen jocks and I head out pronto to get my lift home. |
| Burnley Away by Gaz From the moment i found myself reading the pre match build up to this game over breakfast i knew it was gonna be a very different away day. We had lost to blackpool last week, we were bottom of the league and we were against the dingles. No ale was bought for the way there - this trip was all about the result. Beltz was in the motor and he picked up me, seb then maxi. At maxis we went in for a brew and a cordial and had a chat with his folks - i told you this was different! On the road down we were mainly trying to piece together what had happened the nite before and it weren't long before we were in burnley. After a few laps of the town centre we asked for directtions and got to the safest lusher in the shithole! Maxi was soon makin friends but it didnt go down too well when he kept introducing himself as a Blackburn rovers fan! Still he were soon shaking hands with em all before treatin us to a lolly for the trek to the ground. Loads of familiar faces on the game as we were near my dad and bruvs, sargy and gordy, saint and watty and the moets! Maybe me, beltz and seb had had seen enough this season to dampen our spirits but it was maxis first game and his happiness and optimism was great to see! He weren't too happy when he missed our first goal at the bogs tho! He was there for the others tho and beltz got his shirt off for the 3rd despite it bein feckin cold and him bein stone cold sober (well by his standards, hed obviously had a couple!lol)! Was a thriller, defo best game i've been on all season and we fuckin did it, we won 3-2! The first time we had seen North End win away from home in 10 months- what a good time to do it! On the way out some proper inbred dingle came up to us and said "you boys Preston or Burnley?" Beltz with his north end shirt hangin out replied burnley and the thick twat went on to tell us how he'd just done some preston "scum" in. I think maxi were up for twattin him haha Then after gettin lost fuck knows were we were on the way home with a strange feeling upon us - a winning feeling!! Maxi lad your comin again... |
| Stoke Away by Gaz As sheff wed on new years day, it was just never gonna happen so Stoke was our first 2008 outting! And for the first time ever i was drivin to an away game!! The brave men that dared travel with me behind the wheel were belter, gordy, blacky and duck. i tried to make it a tape (cassettes, remember them?!) trip but we only found one- a bloody good love song one and that was on throughout the journey! I almost crashed into a bus in savick and then struggled like fuck puttin fuel in at the asda card only gigg! The passengers suddenly belted up! Gord had to pick up an old phone cuz he dropped his down the bog into his own piss the nite before! lol Within 5 mins on the motorway i broke 2 key rules- undertaking and crossing solid lines but the boys had their booze so they were happy! Beltz had babysham from xmas and blacky of course had a nice drop of wine! On entering stoke i panicked at a roundabout and almost caused a big old crash but i soon managed to guide us to an ale house! Drinkin ensued but i was stuck on the flamin shandy! Sarge and our stu rolled up and blacky was tryin to get everyone in the pub on his england jaunts to belarus and ukraine. Just dont mention mike newell......... Some guy pissed beltz off with a comment about port vale so he gave the old cunt a nice pair of sticks! Blacky gord and beltz went ahead to get the flag before the game. i stayed with "ICD" livin up to his name! At this point some stoke fans thought they could give us some shit or scare us off or sumat. Whatever they were tryin it didnt work and if they did wanna pot the motor they were searchin some industrial estate (the car was on the car park! lol) All this plus stoke being full of north end old boys made me more desperate for a win! We had a good travelling and great atmosphere until 2 terrible goals went in! At this stage the boys fucked off for a pie and a pint! Blacky used the emergy phone as a coat rack for his ralph lauren jacket!! Some lad called hurricane rolled up at half time with a cheque for £292 for blacky to get him on belarus! The website is workin already!! We got one back but conceeded another soft goal and that was that. Still much improved on the early away days were we just didn't look like scorin! On the way home blacky got caked off his wine and gord passed out but came too, to bollock beltz for soakin his seat! I was goin as quick as i cud cause i was gaggin for an ale!lol So i managed to drive us there and back in one piece but ill be happy to be back on the train and the booze. |
| Derby Away by Gaz Seven of us were up for the cup with The Saint and JK joining the regulars- me beltz duck blacky and seb and it was a 7am start for this one! New years leftovers were still bein used and it werent long before the ale was flowin. We were pretty damn organised although we almost ended up goin to llandudno by mistake JK got a load of stick for the famous "accy brick" story and Saint got ripped to pieces when he went for a coffee! Obviouslly his first outing haha Belter left Saints bag lookin like a dodgy parcel on the train station in sheffield and the transport police were soon over to make sure it werent a bomb! Seb had promised us a homemade tin foil fa cup but we were more than happy to see he brought some inflatable boobs Our only real train buddy was a very scared lookin chinky girl that jk buddyed up with and had a nice pic with On arrivin in derby we stuck our ale in the lockers and found a pub. Shockingly belter was on lemonade!! But dont worry he had his own vodka and had even wore special tight underwear to conceal it haha In the 2nd lush of the day we had a big old pool comp. Needless to say i went out 1st round! One of belters games was rearranged due to a water logged table - he had only took a tinkle on it aint he! We took great pleasure watchin some locals play in it lol We then got some pub grub in the next ale house. One table was seriously debatin football the other was just gettin naked!! There was a fully fledge cowboy on the table behind us! Which we found hilarious! Beltz and jk certainly didnt like the bill tho and decided to spit all over the money and cover it in brown sauce! Not suprisinly the payment was not accepted and i decided i better just pay up and take the horrid money myself. Nice one lads!! On the game the suppin continued with a couple of the priory boys as blacky unleashed his beast of a flag once more. It was another good followin and there is now a believe we can go away and win! 3-0 at half time proved this! On the game, beltz usually gets his shirt off but him and jk were in a right rum mood and stripped down to there boxers! Blacky and Seb had a good go at smashin the stand although i think sebs hand came off worst! Me duck and blacky snook our half time beers up with us but whereas they were sneaky about it i was suppin right in the stewards face so he took it off me. We ended up winnin 4-1 so we were pretty damn chuffed at the end! All the tops were off with Saint leadin the way! Then it was time for a quick jog to the station, grab our cans and get a train home. For the first time ever we got back earlier than planned and got straight onto the business of celebratin the win with beer and wine flowin! I was rough as fuck on the sun and i know i werent the only one (Seb!!) but it was very much worth while. |
| Watford Away by Gaz This trip was for Blackys birthday and with him organisin it it was always gonna be wierd! Me beltz duck dogg and blacky were off to watford via spendin the nite in northampton?!!! Random Blacky was drivin the first leg of the jaunt and he picked me up decked out in shirt, shorts and womens flip flops! I thought this was the dresscode but i was the only dickhead doin it!! As it happens swimmin shorts would have been appropriate for beltz as when blacky did his impression of me drivin he spilt his whiskey and lemo all over himself! On the way we had a serious crack at gettin in touch with an old favourite, emma mitchell from nationwide in kidderminster aka mrs cb!!! unfortunately shes left but now blacky has her full name i can almost hear them weddin bells chimin lol On arrivin in northampton i necked my whiskey and barfed instantly. ill claim i was feelin the effects of a heavy fri nite! we had a hotel for 4 so nezz hid outside while we booked in. he looked dodgy as fuck out there as you would expect but no problems sneakin him in Beltz first move was to mark his territory by pissin in the lift then after i got some pants on it was time to head to watford. we left nezz is northampton on a ledgendry solo On the train blacky cud finally get suppin, the lad was gaggin! And we met a nice lass on her way to london to watch the rugby. Blacky threw in the best chat up line ever............... "i cant look straight at you girl, your eyes are such a deep blue that there like the Mediterranian sea and they dazzle me, i have to look away" - feel free to use next fri nite lads lol So with blacky in love again the train journey soon passed and we got to watford and after a quick bite (3 burgers for big man!!!) we got to the ground and were disgusted that no ale was sold there! After comtemplating fuckin off lol we watched the game and north end hung off for a good point After the game our minds move back to ale and at the first offy we saw we got the goodies in! blacky was suppin wine through the watford streets until the police intervined! on the train we hammered through baileys wine and beer before gettin back to meet nezz at the hotel after his 6 hour solo! Suppin continued as we got ready and blacky was makin up for lost time. unfortunately my cider suppin game made him sick as a dog in the room! Still the tunes (westlife for me, black rap guys for duck) were bangin and we headed out in the first bar, blacky supped wine after wine by the bottle. he werent with us, he was chattin to every tom dick and harry in there except us including hooligans and an old bloke that became the 6th man for a while lol 2nd bar and it was game over for black as he was asked to leave and his nite was over although we would meet again later............... Beltz had brought his old giggs from high school out (the grandad era) and we were takin turns to wear em. some old birds had a reet rum reaction to duck in em lol We had heard chicagos was full of old 'uns so obviously thats were we went and it didnt dissappoint haha Northamton is a class nite, it felt like we went from squires to squires as each bar we went in was ace!! We met up with jaws and titus bramble the 2nd for a while as the nite went on and on i ended up on a solo suppin rose wine until nezz found me and we called it a nite. or a least i did, nezz got back to the hotel then had a change of mind and went back out to meet duck! in the hotel reception i found blacky passed out!! he had attracted a big crowd which a later found out was some indie band called futurehead??! im not into the whole indie thing but these lads were sound and apparantly got some "stella" pics of big man nezz woke up on our floor with a crackin view of my ass and as we all came to, we went out shoppin for some swimmin shorts for beltz. no shops were open so we ended up in the womens section of new look lookin at womens bikinis/underwear. we settled on some spongebob nickers!! however uncharacteristically beltz was feeling shy so i gave him my shorts and i went to our hotel pool and the sauna in these nicks that left NOTHIN to the imagination haha before bookin out there was still time for blacky to fall in love all over again, this time with the hotel receptionist!! In the car park duck pondered crackin a can. He didnt wait for our opinion on it and the ale was flowin once more Then we were on the road again to find a town to watch the carling cup final but not before nezz got the lads a couple of easter eggs in we went rugby and struggled like fuck to find a pub showing the footy. thank christ north end wont be playin there anytime soon!! As the rest of us watched the game blacky stayed in the motor, parked in the main highstreet for a kip and a perv on the passersby Not goin into too much detail here but he had to stop off on the way home to dump his boxers and change his pants!!! The convo also turned to gettin his mum pregnant but thats a whole other story.............. Then after harrasin a women and her kids on the road home we were back in preston and that was that. |
| New Zealand Away by Blacky I was on a solo setting off to New Zealand but I was due to meet Carl in Wellington. So a few red wines and a shuttle to London before my flight to Tokyo. I wasn't even 12 hours in to 4 weeks of the tour when some cunts got right up my nose as some leftie cunt decides to use my left leg as a pillow, and with the adrenaline running, I'm Enemy number one on the plane - standard. Into Tokyo Airport and surprise surprise I'm pulled in by immigration, They end up going through my bag and when the unveiled my 15 foot by 8 foot England flag in front of 500 people, it was priceless, bit of a England swagger and a “see if I give a shit” later I’m in my digs for the next few nights. The next few days was spent supping beer and wine, Watching football, gambling and visiting strip clubs along with a few hours sight seeing. It was a good life. I’d spent 3 days in Japan and it was time to leave the land of the rising sun. It’d been eventful and a great crack. Pissed up I was asleep even before the plane has left the airport gate as I slept 8 of my 10 hours journey to New Zealand. In to Christchurch, More fucking aggro from the immigration and it’s only a short flight to Welligton were I meet Carl and end finish the night spewing all outside Barmy Army pub, falling asleep in a bush and later semi naked in Hotel corridor. The next few days are spent in familiar scenario, early doors to the Basin Reserve, On the ale, out on to the town on the piss with characters such as Torquay, Eyes. Whitey and co, Doom and Gloom, Huddersfield, Boring, etc etc. A series win see’s a rather hung over start to our road trip as I turn up midday still half cut as we catch out train up to Masterton. Its like fucking Burnley . No one goes to work, there all sat outside in flea ridden sofas supping through there 4 teeth like hell. A quiet night gives us a fresh start as we head to Dannervirke. Its only a hour and we soon find a decent little gaff, and are singled out for a dressing down that there’s to be no trouble. Cheeky cunt. Then the most amazing thing happens, Whitey’s only remembered we are to stay here and is literally 3 doors down. So It was always going to be a hectic night and after haggling the price of a bottle of wine to 5 quid during happy hour and cleaning there wine stocks out in the sports bar (was really just a old room with a tv, juke box and a pool table) we were chugging like no ones business. Its then off to a casino, again just like a social club with a few “Argos poker” sets. Again day after we are on the move as we wait for the 2 hour late bus, but if you see a Eddie Hitler lookalike, you can easily amuse yourself. Hastings is dead, so it’s another early night, only my second in 14 days before “Splash Planet”. It's good friday and everythings shut, apart from the offy and splash planet were I get a comphensive win over Carlos on the golf course and he stubs his toe. Whitey has promised us a lift and true to his word he does, straight to the ground to hang the flags then back to his plush apartments for a slap up meal thanks to Jo. The days take the form of sitting in the shade at Mclean Park supping beer watching England get a huge win, supping up town at night. The last day after Victory we head for a game of golf and a bit of shopping. It nearly kicks off one night as two little Kiwi rascals can give Anti English shit but can’t take it and chass us up the road, a case of broaden your shouldersand take 3 steps forward with a growl and next things its all handshakes from the skater boi's. Last night is spent supping with Whitey’s family, Spiv and his missus before an early morning flight to Auckland, time for a mooch before our seperate flight to Los Angeles. We leave at 9pm arriving the exact same day at 12pm - work that one out, (a clue - flew over the date line). In L.A. Carls got beers in. But the exciting thing is even though I arrived later than Carl, I hadn’t felt the effects so much and had been to my local boozer when residing in L.A. – The British Bar. I met a architect that reckoned he lived next to a rather famopus British sports person, unfortuantly the said person was in France according to his maid. He had the suit car and money in wallet to match as he gave me a lift in his Porche to Carls. Anyway a bite and we called it a night as the next day we was to head to Mexico . It’s a early start and we meet up and eventually are on our way to Tijuana . We get down and It’s a strange old gaff as we have Viagra and steds offered on the street. A good day and we are back for last orders at the British bar and some decent tucker. Again we are up early as I said I’d show Carl some movie homes and go Universal Studio’s, I've only fallen in love this time with an Aussie called Trish Hill as we stalk her round Hollywood. By night its another easy one and a bit of shopping. Again we are all go on the Sunday as we head for some designer gear from Rodeo Drive. We see our hero Dennis, the lad who took us to Mexico and “do Cwoffee” as they say. Before we know it, its hugs and back patting. We’d done, English victory on the other side of the world. A magic moment. However, for Reynold, there was one last twist of the knife, and this was right in his back by BA as "shit", his incapable luggae when on a magical mystery tour of L.A. - London - Rome - London - Manchester,with all MY designer gear and flag in - naughty shit |
| Charlton Away by Gaz This trip was the same trio as on the first trip of the season at WBA- me, belter and seb, and after sleepin rough there i didnt fancy our chances of getting to London and back in one day! We met at the station at 6.30am and there were loads of north end fans there and ale galore Suppin soon got goin with beltz on danny lang bitter?! Seb was back and forward to the bogs as a result of friday nites curry! I had made plans for a picnic in hyde park and brought pears, cocktail sausages, scotched eggs, pork pies and the best cheese and onion rolls goin! We didnt make the park but we did enjoy our grub! We then did our bit for world peace by befriending an asian lad called Carlton. Seb came up with a classic bout his trip to London . . . . . . . "ive only been about 3 times and im engli erm... from preston" lol. Beltz quizzed the poor sod bout his sex life in great detail. We then played some card games for vodka. I think the winner and the loser got the shots so it was win win! Carly was our dealer but we cudnt get him to have a shot! We then cracked into some champagne, well asda asti (classy lads) to celebrate sebs recent engagement. Very nice drop. Then despite some delays and some slaphead givin us the dirtys we got to euston. At which point the spongebob nicks from watford reappered as i went through the station showin em off lol. Underground then we decided to do the tourist thing at london bridge!!! But dont worry we were on the cans and always had an eye on findin a pub. We were lookin like fuck for the bridge until we discovered we were right underneath it. Belter also dueted with a busker clown with a guitar. If this is what they do in london for entertainment god help 'em. We hunted down a lush and we were the only folk in. Soft southern fairies must not sup before noon!! Seb and beltz must have been lashed at this stage as i was winnin at pool! On to charlton and after followin the crowds we found another pub invaded by north enders. Play up pompey beat utd. i just wish duck had been with us to see it haha Then on the game the was more excellent support as we were loud and proud! The big fella got 2 as we beat the cockneys 2-1! What a win, After the game i had the bright idea of getting us a taxi in order to get home quicker. £67 later we got to euston. We are never to speak of that again lol Not that me and beltz could tell you much about it as we were passed out! We picked up our ale bagged and taped up in the lock up and were on the trail home. Wine, city fans and a cameo from Blackys mate Minty were the train highlights before arriving back in Preston still singin bout our great win. After a quick red in hartleys (very reminisant of WBA!) it was time to meet the birthday boy Nezz in 10s. For some reason me and Belter werent allowed in!! A lil pissed maybe?!haha But no big loss if you ask me so the boys saved some dollar and the nite rolled on and another excellent day out ended in Squires. 6.30am till 4.00am what a day. Im still stunned we made it home!! |
| Scum Away by Gaz This was the one everyone was waiting for at the start of the season, a chance to invade shitpool and after our defeat at deepdale revenge was on our minds! Me and Nezz were suppin wine till the early early hours of sat morn so there was just time for a wash and a change of pastin gear before the bus to the station. I met belter there and he had already had a full police search. Luckily the boy was clean and they had no objections to our wifebeaters! For the first time this season we were joined by an away day bird! welcome aboard laura swindells. Belter sent her on the wrong bus but she still managed to find us and was good to see her on the vodka. None of that coffee shit like a certain sibbling we all know lol She also treated us all to some mighty fine pick n mix. Morrisons spesh - she is dave sis after all! Train journey soon passed and we arrived on mass. The police were soon over to tell us to sup our stellas. shockingly they didnt fancy lettin us walk round with bottles in hand haha In blackpool we met up with gordy moss and kayleigh who had spent the nite in a b&b. Thank christ for that big old tower or we would never have found em!! With all the pubs on police lock out we were gaggin for an ale and gordy soon found us an offy sellin the good stuff. I went for diamond white cider(?) Another classy choice! Our "stand" was a shambles and to be honest so was the game! The north end fans must have been hungover cuz they only woke up in the 2nd half! To be fair it is hard to make an atmosphere without a pissin roof!! The funniest park was the scum calling us a town full of pakis. "id rather have a tower than a mosque...." Fair point boys. Game ended 0-0 and considerin the build up it was a big let down. Still it was sat arvo so time for the fun and games to begin in essence.... We went back to gordys hotel for a quick sup which soon turned into a few sups as we watched the rugby. Then after treking through blackpool we found the station and got down to suppin on the road home. After fuckin up tryin to get cheap tickets we flirted with the idea of gettin kicked off at kirkham before finally stumpin up the extra dollar. Then back in preston it was just a case of another sat nite to plan |
| QPR Away by Gaz It was another early start for our latest adventure as the the taxi with belter, blacky and duck in rolled up at mine before 6am! We met Seb at the station and the 6th member of this trip was to be a pineapple brought by belter!! It was like a mini ashton reunion on the station as we saw richard smith while leary was workin there. He resisted our offer of a can but we were already gettin stuck in. On an emptyish train father giles kicked up a stink and shifted us from his seats. Boring git! Then at our change over in Manchester we met up with some Pompey lads on the way to the cup semi final. Duck hates the pirates so he stormed off! Luckily we did find him again on the train. Belter was back on the kestrel super on the charlton trip i brought us all some more of that asda asti. It really is a nice drop!! Not sure if it was the way i was standing or if my ass was looking particularily good in my black pants but everyone that went past groped my bum... both sexes!! Still i werent complainin haha. Our next friends were 4 old dears from manchester. Blacky treated them each to a glass of lambrini bubbly and girls had a good crack with us even though they could probably of been our nans. Again our remaining booze was left in lost luggage and we ventured into london. The bookies we found to put a bet on the national looked like it had been knocked up that morning. it was like a construction site but it did the job. We then went to a lush house near euston. The plan was to meet one of Blackys england mates but i think he has havin a bit of bother with the bobbies elsewhere. Instead we got chattin to some gooners and with seb in a very friendly mood me and him went for a drink with a couple of old sunderland lads. I think we were fascinated by there beards. Seb aka grey owl is now considerin join these trend setters. lol When we got back to the lads belter was passin out, the kestrel had hit home already!! Still we managed to get him up and running and to the underground to continue the trip. He even mustered the energy to play the drums with a busker dude. The lad is an entertainment machine when he is in the bright lights of our capital city! He also decided to press the emergy button but to his shock it went through to the police so we scarppered. We stopped off in one more boozer to watch the arsenal game before makin our way to the ground Then we had our 2nd arrest of the season......... the police were over and took our pinapple of us!! This was to be a sad tale as unlike with ed at wolves there was no happy reunion. We found the cops after the game but the pineapple was a gonner. On the game we somehow manage to lose a 20 stone man!! Couldnt find blacky for shit and think he was with hurricaine somewhere North end did ok and went 2-0 up. After learning a sober lesson at watford duck went out and bought a flask to put vodka in! With the win all but assured we had a celebratory sup in the stands. But we were premature as 2 injury time goals meant it finished 2-2!! Fuck knows how that happened. In our desparation to retrieve our booze we almost missed the train home. Luckily seb was on hand to stop the train from going without us. On the train we were joined by some rum coventry fans. Sound guys actually and they paid well over the odds for some of our bodds! A few of them were on the sniff aswel and we started getting loud as fuck! Blacky was belting out england/britain songs. All together now "Rule Britania . . . . . . . . . " The police must have been warned we were coming and at Milton Keynes they came on and had a go at us. They also declared it a dry train and started takin our ale of us and smashin it on the station!! At this stage i didn't think we were gonna get home! As soon as we set off again the suppin got going again with the stuff we managed to salvage and stash and we said goodbye to the Coventry lads.Belter left his trademark on the train by the doors so we had to relocate for the final part of the trip. Seb was still in chat mode and i'm sure he asked everyone on the train "hows your day been?" Responses to the drunken northerner were often to ignore him lol Back in preston, blacky (still recoverin fron New Zealand) headed home as the rest of us went Queen Vic for some karaoke! Beltz and Duck did abit of 50 cent in da club and me and seb gave an emotional rendition of total eclipse of the heart! We again ended the trip in squires 21 hours after we had started! And laura swindells was already tryin to make arrangements for the next trip to plymouth!! |
| Bristol City Away by Gaz (well not quite) So the season started with the west brom sleeping rough fiasco and it damn sure ended in farce! This was to be the 15th and final trip of the campaign and the plan was for belter to drive me conway and blacky there. However on the saturday beltz discovered his tax disc had expired (2 months ago!!) so we tried to sort alternate arrangements! One plan was to get the national express at 3.10am but as we were at a 21st that nite it werent really gonna happen! What did happen is that me and #conway met at the train station at midday. There was no way we could make kick off so the plan was change to us just gettin a train anywhere and pretty much just suppin! Conway befriended the train guy and he didnt ask us for tickets, our first freeby! We eventually got off in warrington and searched for a lusher. we were in look as we found a wetherspoons! The bar maid was stunned as i ordered a bottle of rose wine to kick things off! We were in business....... After a sup and a bet we were back at train station for our 2nd trip! We continued the "W" theme by goin Widnes. We were soon back in the pub watchin the soccer and we got started on the shots!! Good move at 2 in the arvo haha After the game we were back on our travels. it was decision time, we cud either go further away from home or make a start on getting back, we chose liverpool as our next destination! At this point we made a new mate. Some scouse guy that was amused by our antics ! He took us to a pub in the pool and had a sup with us. Me and conway then said our goodbyes and went for a romantic meal in a little italian! There were candles and everythin . . . . . unfortunately this led to me settin the place a light (literally!) Tissue + a flame = fire!!! We soon put it out and enjoyed our bite so there was only one thing to do, get back to the pub! We were in some bar chatting with the locals and the workers. one of 'em was a 'reet miserable bitch but i think me and conway managed to lighten her mood with our charm haha Maybe not eh!! Suppin continued until we tried gettin home, no more trains to preston!! Oh shit w'eve been here before!! Luckily some guy overheard our plight and offered to take us home on a coach for free! He was only goin wigan but went out of his way for us. Top bloke. He even took my number and sent us back to the pub until he was gonna set off!! So we didnt pay a penny for our travels all day. Conway got out at lostock but i went town and met up with seb, dogg and gord. Good old do it was as well. Oh and north end lost 3-0 by the way lol So we started the season tryin to do 15 trips and ended 1 short, GUTTED!!! We had spent hundreds of pounds on trains, tickets and booze, we had to get up at some ridiculous times, we lost more games than we won so any regrets? Have i heck! Fuckin loved it!! Roll on next season............ |
| New Zealand Home by Blacky We had a decent entourage on this one to the tune of 15 heading to the ODI between England and New Zealand at Durham. We were to meet at the Preston rugby club early doors and eventually everyone turned up – just. A pissed up ramble to the top of the moors and the bus driver does a top turn and we stop off at at a butty shop all the while Gaz is more interested in getting naked by the side of the road in the spongies. Wasn’t too long before we arrived in Durham, while half the crew head to find a cashy only to return pissed up 45 overs later - things that a £1.50 "beater" can do. At Dinner, A few beers in Chester le Street and we headback and half the group are making “slicks” with beer in there hair. One of our patrons Ed, is cracking funnies offending everyone with us all in stitches but not so were 75% of the hiers and graces around us. We eventually get peace and quiet as Cheets falls asleep on the guy infrontafter a long informed chat with a Trinidadian behind. The day wears on and the ale and sun starts to take the better judgement as the atmosphere goes arse over tit encouraging the straight members feeling they have no option but to go home. It ends with fans being escorted out by the police, Stewards rushing to outbreaks of new “beer snakes” and fighting leaving 1 plod sparko. England victorious we head home were Duck ends up with a bust lip, Ed and Lyndon have severe concussion after heading butting the mini bus and Ed’s also fallen face first in some nettles. This isn’t before Ed has nearly stolen the fucking mini bus on our return after being tea leaved be Lyndon. Great Scenes all day long and another season wrapped up. |
| Struggling to handle pace, 1st game in, soft twats |
| A horrible team photo |
| Naked team photo in Taff capital |
| I think this is a stunt, I mean who's ever passed out on Fosters??? |
| passed out in dog house cha |
| Zenits number 3, 7, 14, 15, 19, 23, 27, 28, 31, 36 and 44 hooligans |
| St Baz's, Lenins death slab and the Kremlin on Red Square |
| Me and big J while the hotel Cosmos burns |
| Suited booted and looted |
| 4 bottles later . . . ZZZZZZZZ |
| Worst guest of honour at Barnsley . . . ever |
Caught by November 21st Nuts Mag
| PrestonAway with its Barnsley Brothers taking over the hotel |
| If you missed the cracking national anthem like us, here's one of the best so far |
| Duck celebrating barffing his cock off as JL enjoys a £6 pie |
| 24 years the English are back to make a mockery, and that we did. |
| Nez - one horrible bastard with 1 horrible coat |
| Wolverhampton nick cha - GRIM |
| Candid of Trey and Beanyyyyy |
| Team hpoto at Sheffield while Saint was on the Coffee |
JK and one rather unchuffed chink
| A fat hairy beetroot |
| Stoke "naughty 5" did apparently - nob'eds, |
| Gaz an't Spongies |
| OUCH!!! You would have a face like that with Gaz's ass in you face |
| Troops getting naked outside Northampton |
| Booshed out in a Wellington flower bed after a 40 hour piss up started in Tokyo |
| How not to order a bottle of plank in New Zealand |
| Me and Boss Reynolds teaming up in colonial New Zealand |
| Risking life and limb f'er a sherbert on't streets of Tijuana, Mexico, fuckin' rum gaff i'll tell thee |
| Me with the boy K.P. |
| Gaz wouldn't change jack bastard squat about his weekend, but as for them spongies. . . wellll . . . |
| P.A.'s Trio on Capital Punishment |
| France Away by Bambs France Away brings a group together we shall call the “Lunatic Fringe” friendly with PrestonAway. The taxi turns up five minutes early. Quick check for passport/euros/ale and straight to the café for ale and a breakfast where they get a new recruit just like that who will join us the next day. Been a problem with flights so next best option – mini bus to London and the Eurostar so it’s a case of 16 blokes, 16 bags and 16 crates of ale. Eventually in to the Euston Flyer, and we was recognised by the barman as 3 weeks earlier we’d spent 7 hours getting merry here after being refusedentry to Charlton. Now the fun begins as one young Saudi Scoundral does honours of checking in with the fit bird at the desk. Next thing she signals the “sixteen are here..!!” Que for London's finest plod to appear. Questions, finger prints, passports ,all taken away. The train rattles out the station minus 16. They are eventually allowed to travel minus a couple who will catch up later. We get on the next train a hour late minus 4 with two officers in toe on a trip out at the expense of the taxpayer - Bastards. Arrive in Paris and to the hotel were the silly French slut says that it’s now sold out as they turned up later than expected so a sit in protest ensues – in the bar of course helping themselves to the fridge telling her to sort it or else. The rest of the lunatics arrive via plane train and ferry. The night turns into morning and we are now in a hotel near the airport fucking miles from anywhere. Some get up early in the morning straight to ground leaving most lads dead to the world as they try to sort tickets out to no avail, so what’s a man going to do – sup in the Red Light district! The French police are trying sniff trouble but everyone’s happy getting ale’d up and a right little result on the tickets front, it’s in with the frogs but no danger, a right result. Games finished and we are still on the ale before catching Eurostar back to the promise land, few jars in London before the train home on a top trip for the boys. |
| If It were'nt f'er thee English y'ed be KRAUTS |
| Gaz is sparko after a long season - Were's Bristol from 'ere mate? |
| The gruesome twosome trying to get Bri'zzle |
| Ed giving everyone some peace |
| Southend Proportions |
| Seb and Blacky weren't Amused with Sticky Vicky routine |
| The boys with Sir Bobby |